We are in UK and have just gone into tier 4, which essentially means no mixing with anyone, so just like that all plans for xmas and new years have been altered!
I have been so resilient throughout this whole process that im now able to see the good pretty much in everything. These changes have been a blessing in disguise! H was going to take the boys to see his mum with OW for 4 days and that is not happening now, it means i will be spending more time with my boys and yes it will just be the three of us and our friends wont be coming, but that is ok too. I know how tricky this time of year can be, but im somehow grateful for things that are happening around me, although i have no control whatsoever over them. Im looking forward to next year and hoping that this sitch of ours is going to come to some sort of finality in the new year.
I dont feel like there is anything in this for me, i dont feel like the person he is now is someone i want to be with. I know what my values are, i know what my life needs to be. I find happiness in little things, i have become a better mother and a better friend. Im a great manager at work and a good employee. There is one big problem, my kids want their dad to come home! Really desperately want us to be a family and i dont know what to do with that anymore. I have explained to them as much as i can that we are not together and that H is living with someone else now. And all i feel im doing is holding them whilst they cry :((
