New Beginnings

[CanBird]

D4 associates Christmas with her daddy being home from his seasonal job. As the days grow closer to Christmas, she's been asking a lot more about him, and saying this like, "When daddy gets home...."

7 days ago, XH reached out and wanted to contact D4. I sent XH a schedule, so he knew the best times to contact D4.
And here we are with no contact. I've never pushed my kid to contact anyone, ever. If she shows an interest, I will ask if she wants to follow through (ie call, video chat, text, etc, etc ). It frustrates me that XH reaches out, asks when he can contact her, and then nothing. I know better than to tell D4 anything. Keep expectations at zero.

Getting back to the reality of the situation. Daddy is not coming home. Daddy probable won't even visit, or be in the same state. Heck he might not be in the same country. I don't know how she's going to take the news. I ask XH, months ago, when our D became final, what he wanted her to know. I opened the door to the conversation, I want his input. All I've ever gotten is an, "I don't know". That was over a month ago.

XH is MLC/WAS. Not sure where in the world he is. Literally. His own family has been asking me if I know where he is.

I have one day of work next week, then on holidays until the first week of the new year. With all that time off, I feel I can say something to D4. Just thinking about it makes me so sad. But, who knows. Maybe she'll take it better than I did.