Did she keep the house? I assume you had no interest in it.
We sold the house. It took us a year to sell the house after the divorce. We split the mortgage payments until we sold the house. I bought another house after the divorce, so those double mortgages were tough. We also had something happen to the house in that year, and it cost us $6K (deductible). We sold the house for about the same price as it cost. It was a really nice house, and we had an offer on the day we put it up for sale for $50K more than we bought if for. I won't get into details, but there was a party connected to the builder that basically sabotaged the sale. Pissed me off, but ultimately chose not to sue. The difference in the sale + mortgage payments + damage cost me around $50K.
Originally Posted by tom_h
We should explore this a bit more. I know that my ex and I were very different people yet during our courtship we complemented each other very well. I filled in many pieces that were missing in her life. She liked that I was outgoing, bold, fearless, adventuresome, and passionate. Never at a loss for words. Made friends anywhere and everywhere. Analytical and logical. Yes, I have always been a little high strung but I would always, always back down if she thought I was being too dramatic. It worked well for so many years.
My negative traits will no doubt be found buried inside the positive ones.
I think there are personality traits (lack of empathy, overly jealous, too beta) that can kill a relationship. I think it's important to identify and work at those.
My biggest failure in my marriage was lack of leadership. My XW is an alpha. To keep peace, I submitted the role to her. Big mistake that I won't make again. Women like my XW will test a man. I failed the test.
Leadership, listening, empathizing - those are the things that I've worked on. Every LBS has their own 180s to make.
