Walk Away Spouse Fits My Ex-Wife to a "T" - Part 3

[Rose888]

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

But is all of the above addressing my point, about restoring mutual respect? Doesn't respect go to the personal as well? Couples go 20 years and after awhile they don't respect each other anymore. Doesn't that have more to do with character and accomplishments and core self, and less to do with the above? I'm just canvassing for viewpoints here. Or is fixing the respect problem automatic when everything else is humming?

Now, I do think that lack of professional success can play into a lack of respect, but usually because of the effect it has on the man's esteem and the subsequent effect that reduction in self-esteem has on the man's behavior in the relationship rather than because a modern woman inherently can't respect a man who isn't at the top of his profession.

Rose, I think it's far more complicated than that. My gut says that it has something to do with taking each other for granted as the years pass, and being less able to accept imperfections that have been clear from the start of the relationship. Yes, one spouse can lose respect for the other if the other doesn't achieve a career goal, say, Vice President or school principal or top salesperson by age 45. But I think disrespect is pretty rampant in all relationships and it goes both ways, big time. There are many posters here who talk about not becoming MNG; isn't that all about her losing respect for him because he's MNG? And that has nothing to do with his self-esteem, right?

See RTC's comment above, he implies that it's almost inevitable that the woman will lose respect for the man.

I really hope to get a perspective here. Is loss of respect inevitable? How does one avoid it? Is one gender more likely to be on the receiving end than the other?

I agree that it's more complicated than that. In fact, you choose to quote only part of only one of the three paragraphs I wrote, thus making it appear my point was something other than what it was. And right now, that's making me feel like continuing to discuss things with you and trying to help you is not a good use of my time. I might change my mind later, but I'm bowing out for now.