12-15-20 - Told her if she's not willing to work on this find somewhere else to sleep. She had only been pushing for separation at this point so I also told her that if she has no interest in our marriage, prepare for a divorce. I made it clear that it would not be amicable.
12-16-20 - Her mood was noticeably different. The confidence and seeming contempt for me seemed to be completely gone. She started asking for help with things.
12-17-20 - She broke down in tears. OM was in fact shipped away. The whole day was a rollercoaster. She would be listening to music and singing/dancing, then having deep conversations. Then randomly smiling at me. Anything and everything happened today except anything negative about me. She complimented me numerous times and was thanking me for everything and pushing talks about the future.

Before anyone says it.. I know.. this is not her "being back".. I don't know what this is.. but I suspect it's largely driven by fear, uncertainty, and a need for something familiar. We're leaving today on a trip so this should be interesting.

I read most of Divorce Remedy before W unexpectedly returned from sea (I verified that everything about her being at sea was legit.. which I know is snooping.. but it is what it is). From the moment she stepped in the door, I was putting my focus on the concepts of tough love, being as upbeat/outgoing as I can manage with all things considered, the 37 rules, and making sure I looked my best at all times. I also made it clear that there are now boundaries. I made myself scarce when there wasn't a reason to be around each other but also found family activities that she would feel inclined to join.
Did this work? I couldn't begin to tell you. My phone has been ringing fairly frequently with job offers and I'm starting my graduate degree.. I also made it abundantly clear to her that I have already been looking at houses and jobs in my home town for after the D if she refuses to work on our M.

The part of me that has been desperate for affection is currently at war with my analytical half but regardless, this is different. It's progress. I think I would be foolish to anticipate any outcome from this or to take this at face value at this moment. By contrast, it would be equally foolish to dismiss this progress. I'm going to continue utilizing what I've learned. My goal has been to save our marriage and repair my share of the damage. My plan is to begin nudging for counseling as best I can given her responsibilities to the military.