I see respect as something that does not dwindle. And no, you do not have to be an over achiever to be respeced. It is all how you handle yourself and how you allow other to treat you and your family. And no, you do not have to be an ass, or an [censored] about it. You have to command respect and command respect from your W as well. She will not respect you if she can walk all over you.
It is also vital that you voice your disagreements early as they appear, and not be a passive aggresive dickeah about it. That goes for your wants and desires as well. If you love hiking and your W does not, it is not love if you give up hiking because of your W, because you will resent your W for taking the hiking away from you and if you make your W go with you, she will resent you for forcing her and you will both be miserable. So if you started and told your W that you love hiking and that you plan to hike sometimes even if she does not like it, she will respect you for having a stand. That of course does not mean that you can go hiking each and every minute of the free time, you have to set aside quality time for her as well.
That being said, you have to respect her as well and not be a passive aggresive dick about it. If she likes reading, it would be very unwise to make fun of her reading by calling her a book worm or something like that. It also helps if you remember her likes and dislikes and that you listen to her.
Women love to be heard. That means that when she talks you listen and not fidget on your phone or follow a game on TV.
