It's probably only fair if I lay some of my negative personality traits out there.
I'm overly competitive. I'm a procrastinator.
I lack empathy--which I feel is my worst trait and the one I've tried to work on the most since my divorce. It's an ongoing process though, and I have a long way to go before it becomes second nature. I've focused on putting myself in somebody else's shoes when I'm listening to them. I've focused on thinking before responding.
Most of my Mom's side of the family have some common personality traits (good and bad) that we got from my maternal grandmother. She was about as blunt as they come, but she had the ability to laugh at herself. We are thick-skinned, forgiving, and self-deprecating on the plus side, but we also lack empathy.
I've also realized that I'm more self-centered than I thought. The whole sexual desire gap in my marriage is a good example. I wouldn't say I was in a sexless marriage by any means, but I wanted it more. I got caught up in thinking about how it affected me, but I didn't always look at it from her point of view. I didn't strive to understand the root of what caused the desire gap on her end.
I think that's the good that has come from my divorce. I've taken a look at my flaws, and I have worked on many of them. I'm a better person having gone through it. Increased empathy has made me a better father to my two daughters.
Do you think your ex would like Harvey 2.0? Would Harvey 2.0 have been good enough to keep the marriage intact, if she gave Harvey 2.0 a chance?
