Wondering why I'm acting differently all of the sudden and being "quiet?" I disagree. This is foreign to her. Now, she might not care too much, but she's definitely thinking something is up.
I understand why you feel like "I'm busy" isn't enough of an answer, and in fact might come off to her as you being rude to her. Personally I think a better response is "I feel like we both need some time and space from each other to think about things." Because that is the truth even if it may not be what you want, that IS what she wants, and that is a response she can respect.
I like that and think that's where I'm heading. Right now it is just deciding is that before or after Xmas.
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
I went about it a little differently, I asked myself "would I still stand for my M if I absolutely knew she was having an A" and I decided that I would indeed. I know it's a deal-killer for a lot of people but it wasn't for me. Neither of us were anywhere close to being virgins when we got married so it seemed like a forgivable offense. Once I came to the conclusion that I would still stand, then it no longer mattered to me whether she was having an A or not. I basically assumed the worst- yes she is having an A, and I acted accordingly. It was actually a huge weight off my shoulders, one less thing to worry about. To this day (nearly 10 years later) I still don't know if she was having an A or not!
