Secondly, I had a couple thoughts on what you wrote below:
Originally Posted by scout12
He also wanted to confirm the Christmas Day agreement "as discussed". This is part of the new parenting plan and so far I've pushed back on implementing anything in the new plan until he signs it. On his part, he's tried to circumvent this by implementing things that have not yet been legally enshrined. I think that's a VERY slippery slope. That's not how this works. It's not how any of this works!
My X does this too (pointing to arbitrary conversations in the past), and it is annoying.
We actually have legally enforceable signed documents, but she will point to things "as discussed" from a year ago that are different from our (more recent) documents. And even then she is often twisting what we supposedly "agreed" upon. It's verrrrrrrry slippery as you say. I chalk it up to a person grabbing any evidence they can to justify their position, ignoring what doesn't fit, picking what does.
I used to spend a lot of time wondering -- is my X truly calculating and diabolical, or do people with unhealthy coping strategies just default to these distortions of reality and not even realize what they are doing? Same goes for other toxic people.
I don't really care anymore though... my guess is most of them are just unhealthy and not pure evil.
I think you are doing the right thing, keeping your guard up. I like to think that my trust can be earned, but I'm not going to grant it freely.
