I think what happened in your marriage (sexual desire gap) is very common, and I think it's a source of problems in a lot of marriages. Quite frankly, I don't think most men (myself included) handle it very well. I don't have advice for you--as I'm not sure if I've really learned how to deal with it. There are a lot of resources available though. I'll just give you my background and say I can relate.
I had a couple of serious girlfriends before my XW. One had good sexual desire. We started the relationship out by having sex almost every day. That lasted for awhile. At the end of the 1 1/2 year relationship, it was still at every other day. The other girl had strong sexual desire--might have been even more than me. She had to have sex every day. Some days it was four times/day.
My XW was different. We started off having sex about 3 days/week. It didn't take too long (a couple of years) before it fell to 1-2 times/week. After our daughters were born, it could be 2-3 times one week and then 2-3 weeks before sex again. She controlled it. That actually messed with my head, but I thought we handled it pretty well. We came to an agreement that we would consistently have sex 1-2 times/week. It was a number we were both okay with. I think she realized how important consistent intimacy was to me.
My current GF is more sexual than my XW, but she doesn't wear me out. When I asked her how much sex is ideal for her, she said every other day. At 50, I'm perfectly content with that. That number has remained consistent from about 3 months into the relationship (we had our initial love bombing of sex every day) until now. We've been dating 16 months.
Have I learned anything? Yes and no. I know how much it can strain a relationship, so I'm much more cognizant of not pouting when my GF isn't in the mood. If she isn't, I try to show her that she is loved--without worrying if it's going to end in sex. Then again, we don't go long stretches without it, so maybe she's just a lot more sexually compatible with me.
Most men feel love through sex. No matter what the woman says, if there isn't consistent intimacy, the man doesn't feel loved. Most women need to feel loved to have/want sex.
