Walk Away Spouse Fits My Ex-Wife to a "T" - Part 3

[OnlyBent]

Tom (or Tommy :D), something that I read on a blog of someone I really respect (but not sure if the rules allow me to point to it or not) is that we should make it our job to learn about our significant other. When I wanted to learn Spanish, I really threw myself into it, when I wanted to become a good squash player I devoted hours to practice. Not once can I say I put the same effort into getting to know my wife, really getting to know her. Sure, I was a pretty good husband, did lots of thoughtful things, spent plenty of time with her, did my share around the house, but I can't say I ever invested in her the same amount of effort that I did with other pursuits. Not because I'm a jerk, but I just didn't know that relationships needed this. I was taught that if you choose the right person it just takes care of itself.

It's great that you are owning your half of the neglect/lack of respect. My STBXW has done some horrible things to me over the last 6 months, not that this absolves her of her behaviour, but I have to ask myself if these things would have happened if I had known how to be in a relationship.