For a long time I felt shame over the way I handled his affair. I was needy and chasing and desperate to fix it all. Now I give myself a break. I was in absolute trauma and everything I *knew* to be true was blown up. It's given me an opportunity to learn how to value myself and connect with myself.
100% on all points. I wish we could sit down one day and talk about this! I’m 6-7 years down the road. Things will continue to change, evolve and eventually make more sense. I dont have regrets anymore. And I was a disaster — I think people here would be shocked to know what I did when I learned about the A and then after he left me for her. I did the unthinkable! It’s almost funny, but its not.
Today, I don’t have the same mindset because I have healed. That is who I was and that is what I did. By bringing forward my most ugly self, I have also been given the gift of insight and understanding. I have had to look into that darkness and really dig deep. I have healed myself from passed wounds that otherwise were so easy to hide. I’m a much stronger and happier person now. So are my relationships. So I cannot pick and choose what part of my history to keep or erase, it’s all still there, but I can certainly change my perspective on how I view it.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
