Joejoe, buddy, so good to read from you! It’s the best when people keep coming back over the years and update. I think we really get the most wisdom in just moving through these sitches over time — I learn more about myself and this M with each year that passes. All the reading, self help and counseling is not a replacement for just going through it. Marathon, not a sprint.

I can relate to that feeling of thinking the grass would be greener on the other side — what if we had D’d, a clean break from this mess and just started over somewhere else. No baggage. No betrayals. I thought about that more in the early years of piecing and much less in the last couple years. I don’t think about it now tho. I have come to start appreciated what I have gained by sticking this out and doing the hard work.

- I appreciate that I have a partner that is also willing to do that hard work. It’s a more meaningful kind of love.
- I don’t imagine my M is something better or that he could be a certain way, and I’m learning to accept what I actually have.
- I like myself more now than I did before — I feel stronger and more confident. Being with him forces me to look at my flaws.
- I believe that if I ran off and started something new, that I would still bring my issues with me, whereas by staying with him, he knows how to challenge that.
- We are able to share our children, home and finances together. This brings me a lot of security about my future.
- I’m coming to a place where I think we can rewrite history again, but this time the memories don’t have to look as painful but more serve a greater purpose.
- (insert more that I will discover in the future)

Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela