Oceangrl: Update on MR and LRT sitch

[Oceangl]

He is out of town until Friday night. It makes it easier because I feel like I can take a break to think and and sort my feelings out. I feel like a yoyo in my thoughts and feelings.

I haven't had my own life in a long time. And then I was chasing him for awhile after the sky fell. So as far as GALing goes, lately I've learned how to make bread. I know that sounds a little lame, but it is so satisfying and soothing to knead bread and make something from scratch. I feel like it helps me connect with myself. I am also trying to establish a good morning routine before my kids are up. They are distance learning so our schedule has been off. I want to look into a gym so I can value and take care of myself, and connect with that side of me.

For a long time I felt shame over the way I handled his affair. I was needy and chasing and desperate to fix it all. Now I give myself a break. I was in absolute trauma and everything I *knew* to be true was blown up. It's given me an opportunity to learn how to value myself and connect with myself.