May-- In Australia, parenting plans are completely separate to divorce. For tomorrow's hearing, the judge only needs to hear that the child is sufficiently provided for. There is nothing to be decided other than the legal end of the marriage.
You remembered correctly. I currently do not have a legally enforceable parenting plan. I'm not obliged to give him any time whatsoever. I would not be doing anything wrong, legally, to withhold S2 and make X go through the court system to get his parenting time. If I had legitimate concerns for S2's safety, this is what I would do.
Regarding Christmas, he hasn't explicitly agreed to the ongoing schedule. Just this year's arrangement, which was never really up for debate anyway. That's my concern with allowing it to go ahead without having signoff on the ongoing schedule.
Yes, I do think that he doesn't want to be locked into a legally enforceable agreement. The agreement we came to is more time than he was asking for back in February, which is appropriate because S2 is nearly a full year older. And yet, still no signature.
I wonder if I went the other way, and just said let's lock in the current arrangement and I'll allow age-appropriate adhoc overnights, would that be more attractive? But S2 needs his visits to be stable and predictable, right?
On the topic of 'not letting things go', I do actually agree as long as it is reciprocal. For me, I wasn't about to do my hair and makeup and put on nice clothes at 8pm, only for my X to come home an hour late without a notice, sit with me long enough to eat the dinner I prepared, then disappear into the office to burp, fart, and play video games all night long. No thank you ma'am!
Funnily enough, yesterday I was chatting to S2's teacher when I picked him up. She mentioned that I used to appear drab and dull and lifeless and now I look so vibrant and happy and confident. That was a nice validation.
