Quote: I'm also thinking that if the LD spouse never HAS to do anything other than show up, they likely never WILL.
Tim, I think whether a spouse ever does anything other than show up depends on the degree of importance they put on the relationship. Some take longer than others but, if the relationship is important to them and they see that the relationship could possibly end due to their actions they will eventually do more than just show up.
With my ex his relationship with his children and me was important but not important enough to step outside that comfort zone he had set up for himself. It was easier for him to move onto another family and someone who revels in the fact that all he does is show up.
Bottom line, all any of us can do is grow, remain true to ourselves and hope they will follow our lead. If they don't then we at least don't end up damaged by their actions. Cathy
