Had a really good talk with my W last week as we were driving down the highway. She came along for a hunting trip like the old days. We discussed my infidelities (when we were dating) and hers. A lot of emotion and caring for each other. I wanted to share with everyone reading something she told me. Part of her seeking an affair, her running back and forth from me to OM, and all the stuff that goes along with this was the fact that she was trying to prove it to herself that she could move on. She was really trying hard. Even once it became "safe" again for her to be with me, she still kept this mindset for months and months.
She was in essence trying to prove a point. She was being emotional. We've all seen someone hellbent on proving a point and we all know, at least a little, how to handle it. But when it is our spouse proving that point in this way, that's harder to handle. I just think it's important to remember this and it shows you why you should detach, not argue, learn to validate, etc. Basically it's why you should DB.
Anyways, W is pregnant and I'm going to be a father next year. I spent many months this year deciding whether or not I wanted to have children with her after our situation. I made my decision. I'm happy now and beyond elated to be a father. I'm hoping for a boy first and girl second, but the little girl outfits tug on the heartstrings when I see them at the store. I'm open to advice from everyone on parenthood. I've been trying to be patient and giving with my W, she is tired, emotional, and hungry in new ways. First Dr appt is next month.
Congratulation and congratulations!! Just remember, never stop working on the MR. Ever. Even after being parents. A lot of my W's and my issue was we became parents 100% and didn't remain spouses 100%. You can and should do both!
Last edited by Steve85; 12/14/2006:37 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
