Not going to lie, the trip is a huge redflag. But it is out of your realm of control. Focus on what you can control: YOU. And your GAL this morning is doing just that.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure the surgery is just an excuse to go down there. I have to fight the urge to call her on it and blow up, because what's that going to help? The only thing I need to figure out is if a PA is a dealbreaker. I think it is, but it's easier to say that than to follow through so I'm not going there yet.
Originally Posted by Steve85
Nothing wrong with getting your emotions out in private like that! Well done. (I used to break down in the shower.)
Yeah, in addition to posting on here I have a personal journal that had a much more profane entry this morning! lol.
Trust your instincts. Some really good couple friends of ours, about 14 years ago she had an affair on him. She was going on business trips, and went to visit her parents, before he knew about the PA. He found out later the business trips were not business, it was her AP and her going on vacation together. And the trip to visit her parents was to introduce her AP to them (she told her parents that her and our friend were getting a D, he didn't even know she was cheating!).
I don't say all that to scare you but to get you to buttress yourself against it.
As far as whether it is a deal-breaker or not. Was it a deal-breaker before? Have you always said "If you cheat, we are done?"
Do not give up on your principles out of fear, or anxiety. "I am afraid to be alone, so I am going to overlook that she cheated.....even though I've always said it was a deal-breaker." Principles are principles. If you give up on that will you be able to respect yourself? And can you ever expect her to respect you again?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
