Oceangrl: Update on MR and LRT sitch

[Oceangl]

Thanks for your replies, everyone. Reality is so hard sometimes. I think that's why I've been focusing so hard on empowering myself and seeing my value. He has some deep issues and I can't make him work on it. And I don't want to, anyway. We each have to do that on our own.

Joe2017 - I thought i could live like that. I really wanted to keep things stable for my kids as we make a good family. But after a few months I realized that I can't. I was dying inside.

May - Lots of good thoughts. i do need to step back and see what I need to stop doing. I did not pick him up at the airport last week as I had a lot on my plate to do and I wanted to honor that. Before I always wanted to please. The kids part is the worst. I hate hurting my kids. It's like so weird -- we make this really good family. We go on vacation together and have fun together and watch movies etc etc, no wonder he doesn't want to leave. BUT it's been awful for me. So lonely. I don't want a divorce, but I don't want to live like this either. I feel like my situation is "which bad choice would you like to make?" You know? It's like horrible choice one or two. Which one [censored] less? I hate it.

LH19 - we are still in counseling because our church offered to pay for it. So it's not coming out of our account. I do understand where I am, all you say resonates with me. I have been allowing myself to accept and grieve.

I have mentioned him moving out before but he gets really mad. And obviously I cant make him leave. I would him move out after the holidays. Not sure how to approach that.

What confuses me sometimes on how long to wait to leave is that in DB she has stories of people where the spouse acted like this for a very long time and then began to come back. But I don't want to waste more of my life. I just hate that affects not just me, but my kids.