Back at the house with the boys. Took the W to the airport yesterday as her step father is having heart surgery. She'll be gone until next Sunday. Our time together was pleasant. She remarked more than once about me looking good, losing weight, seeming "better", etc. so that was nice and I was in a good frame of mind. Felt good and in control. Of course, nothing can last and the thoughts started creeping in last night. Ideas, scenarios, suspicions, anxiety, heart pounding, all start coming back. I know in my head that I shouldn't be worried about those things because she's going to do what she's going to do regardless of my actions. I know I need to disassociate myself from those thoughts and focus on me and things I can control. But damn that is so much easier said than done.
