Quote: ...do they KNOW what they are doing or are they ignorant?
That's a tricky question, because if they KNOW what's going on, and are PURPOSELY ignoring it, then that's a very hurtful thing, especially if they're being deceptive about it, but if they are truly ignorant of it, then being upset and feeling rejected are inappropriate. I do know that in a number of examples in PM, the LD spouse knows EXACTLY what's going on, and DELIBERATELY sets out to "sabotage" things. I have often wondered if that's what W is doing. I, also, would like to be more subtle, but that gets me nowhere. I have to believe that at least some of the time, she is FULLY aware of my intent, but chooses to "misinterpret" it as just being cuddly and loving. That's why I've begun blatantly stating my desire in a way that she cannot ignore. She has yet to actually say she's not up to it, but it's now been more than 2 weeks since we last successfully ML, and I have initiated a number of times. I'm starting to panic. Well, not panic, exactly, but it IS frustrating, especially since our 25th anniversary is coming in a little over 4 weeks, and we've planned a really special outing for it, and I REALLY want LM to be part of it...
