Boy, thinking about this in the eyes of PM is tough because I keep wanting to hold onto myself in other ways.
The other night, my W was receptive to my "leading" her to a new oral technique which I enjoyed (first time I've enjoyed receiving oral). That makes me think that she is open to the idea of learning. I wonder if it would be inappropriate to get this book and somehow give it to my W. I wonder if it's too soon? But considering that we are both beginners in our "new life", this might be the ideal time. I would love it if my W got me a book on sexual techniques to use on her.
I guess I could say "I want to not just have a sex life with LM a few times a week, but I want to have 'great sex' too. I bought this book because I would like for you to learn and improve some techniques. Let me know if there's anything you would like me to learn."
Doesn't sound unreasonable does it?
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
Dave, I most definitely would not tell her that you want her to learn new techniques, even if it is true. She is working through her own fears and that will just make her fear being sucky in bed. What I would do is to buy both books, the one for males and females and tell her that you did it for the same reasons that she bought the Kama Sutra stuff--just to try new things. I saw the female one in the library and thumbed through it and BOY did some of the suggestions get me hot and bothered. So I think you would have great success with it with your wife! It had a little something for everyone..
It might be OK to give her the book because the introduction talks about how hard it is for women to get good info on technique and how much the author was ignorant of before she started trying to learn. I would tell her it was a book recommended to help women become more comfortable with thier sexual nature and not emphasize the techniques it teaches.
Quote: first time I've enjoyed receiving oral
I have to ask. Why don't you enjoy it?
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I've found that in order to be good at giving head you have to believe that you are good at giving head. Attitude is more important than specific technique. Also, the "pause" is more critical than the "play". If you just pretend like you are a high-class hooker who is an expert at giving head, you'll probably be quite successful. However, I wouldn't recommend making this suggestion to your wife. LOL
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Mojo, I have to agree with what you said. Maybe we should watch a little porn some night. I think she has it in her mind that deep throating is the goal and that I should be completely in her mouth like a popsicle. I led her to the idea of using her mouth and tongue on other parts (than simply being inside her mouth) and in combination with her hands, I got pretty aroused. She was starting to look like a pro too!!! What was really weird was that there was a moment where she really seemed to be enjoying herself. I think she's starting to allow herself to "like" these kinds of activities.
I will probably buy the 2 books as suggested. I can't imagine it being a big deal as long as I've stressed the EC elements first, like we have in out monday night meetings.
BTW, I hope everyone got my blatant pun about her "sucking". If not, then I need to draw attention to the fact that my comment was on technique and not a criticism of her if that makes sense...get it?...bj...suck...hmmm. It was a freaking joke! But I just needed to clarify this so people wouldn't think I'm a total a-hole.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
Quote: The Ode to Bryan...did you do this as a part of foreplay or as an event unto itself?
Honeypot, I overlooked this question. The most important thing to remember is that everybody is different, so while some, like my husband, prefer it as foreplay and one of several things to do in a LM session (even if LM is confined to manual stimulation, he still prefers a hard "milking" stroke right before climaxing), other men may prefer it as an event unto itself.
Have fun. I was surprised at how much my husband who likes lots of friction got turned on by this softer, gentler stroke and how fast it works.
Quote: I guess I could say "I want to not just have a sex life with LM a few times a week, but I want to have 'great sex' too. I bought this book because I would like for you to learn and improve some techniques. Let me know if there's anything you would like me to learn."
Dave, I agree with Honeypot about this. Buy the books, How to Be a Great Lover (written for women) and How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure (written for men), more as a fun thing like the Kama Sutra kit your wife bought. I understand what you're saying, but it could very easily be perceived as criticism. If she's open to it, you can take turns trying different techniques (especially manual and oral) on each other from the books (as I've written before, I had my husband hold the book and read the directions to me while either turning it around to show me the illustration or showing it to me when I'd go up to his mouth to kiss him). Although we both LEARNED some new techniques, it was more of a fun thing to expand our repertoire and add variety (and because I wanted to learn how to give handjobs that didn't end with my arm feeling like it was going to fall off).
BTW, here's the Ode to Bryan technique (from memory, not the book to avoid the risk of plagiarism).
Lou Paget said that her friend Bryan showed her the technique in a restaurant using a spoon, so take a spoon or pencil or any object like that. Hold it at the base with your left hand to stabilize it or stand it up somehow. TAke your right hand and grasp the pencil. See how you automatically reach for it and hold it like you're holding a glass to drink out of (I'll call this the "holding a glass" position).
Now, take your right hand off the pencil or spoon because the "holding a glass" position is NOT how you start the Ode to Bryan technique. Instead, rotate your hand so that the back of your palm and fingers is facing you and your thumb is at the bottom. Keeping that position, grasp the pencil or spoon with your right hand so that your thumb goes around the back of it while the back of your hand is facing you.
Now stroke up. The downstroke will be the "holding a glass" position, but you don't want to take your hand off the pencil or spoon to change positions. As you get to the top of the pencil or spoon, twist your hand (look at your wrist--during the twist your right wrist will move to the left and then up). After your hand goes over the top, you should be in the "holding a glass" position where the back of your thumb is now facing you and your palm is against the back of the pencil or spoon. Stroke down in that position. When you get to the base, your left hand (you won't be able to do this if you're using your left hand to stabilize the pencil or spoon, but you'll get the general idea) should be ready to go using the same motion (if you've ever watched somebody knit, think of that to get an idea of the rhythm and movement). Just keep alternating hands.
You're a guy, use your imagination to think of exactly where the thumb and hand are at that twisting motion at the top where the thumb comes around from the back to the front.
The good news is that the book uses line drawings to show the technique in detail. It's also one of those techniques that's easier to learn by doing than by reading directions.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. C. S. Lewis
