Walk Away Spouse Fits My Ex-Wife to a "T" - Part 3

[may22]

See how I said you should read a novel and you pretended like I was suggesting self-help books? Mm-hmm.

If you like science fiction, you must have read Orson Scott Card and the whole Ender's Game series... all about empathy for the other. If not, they're classic. I would also suggest Sheri Tepper and Octavia Butler if you haven't already, and you want to stretch a bit.

What was the last book you read where the protagonist was female? If it's been awhile, even just making your next book choice have a female lead or read a biography of a female would not be a bad start.

What about a book club with your daughters? Let them choose. My parents have been in a couple's book club forever and it is always a total joke when it is my dad's turn to pick-- his tastes are along the same lines as yours and the rest of the book club is more novels and literary fiction--but listening to him talk about a book he's read have honestly led to some of the most eye-opening and close conversations we've ever had. Now every year for father's day I work hard to find a book I've read that I know he'll like (I read a lot). I bet that could be a cool way to get to know your kids better as adults, and get to know your daughters' perspectives better as women.

I agree fully with CW's take on wimpiness vs. vulnerability. Opening up to people you love and who love you is a beautiful thing. I think it is also beautiful and brave to listen openly and try to put yourself out there and understand where another human being is coming from. Not just jokingly eating their vegan food but with a whole and openhearted curiosity to know why they choose to be vegan and a desire to share their food with them. Watching a movie from their eyes, and asking them what resonated with them about it, not grumpily going along with it and thinking you should get a prize the whole time for being so open-minded as to sit through that garbage. (Not saying that is you, but that would TOTALLY be my FIL.)

TBH, it feels wimpy to me to not try and put yourself out there, be willing to be wrong, be willing to fail, be okay with showing your sadness when things are sad. That is human, and to me those actions show courage.

M