You are nothing but a sex partner to the pilot. You two are not dating. You do an activity before you get to the point he’s meeting you, which is sex.
He doesn’t initiate contact. He doesn’t keep a conversation going. He never clarified if you were his only partner. If you were seriously ok with it, you wouldn’t be starting to obsess over if that’s all you are.
You should be focusing on your son who’s obviously hurting and yourself. Take the time you are using to drink and have meaningless sex to focus on you and your son.
Stop using COVID as an excuse. Everyone in the world (literally) is dealing with it. Yeah is stinks, but others are still getting the therapy they need, seeing the doctors they require, and going to dinner, hiking and getting ready for the holidays. Others who have it worse because of COVID are either very sick or have lost their jobs and are potentially facing their unemployment benefits running out.
You owe it to yourself and your son to work on yourself more than taking a moment of reflection, drinking to excess, and having meaningless while pondering if it all means more.
Sorry if this comes off harsh.
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
