When I read back, Tom, I see LH taking the time to break down your posts and ask you questions and give some helpful Feedback. I’m not at all seeing where he asked hit and run questions. I see kindness and validation. He’s also asked some though provoking questions to get you to think and dig deep. What you think is a hit and run question is actually something for you to reflect on and see where you can grow .
In you, throughout this thread, I see defensiveness and stubborness, and at times ignorance. I still haven’t figured out what you have come here for? What your purpose is? As a woman, Or as just a human, I can see why your wife never said anything if this is the kind of response she would be met with if something she may have said to you would invoke this kind of reaction. If she was going to say something not particularly positive that was hurting her or she couldn’t deal with that would be a hit to your who, how would she have taken it? I imagine she planned her exit in the way she did not to be met with this kind of reaction. This might be also why she just won’t talk to you.
The absolute hardest but most rewarding of the whole BD process is being able to look inward and find placed to grow. And admitting where you may have gone wrong and what your part in this is HARD. But cleaning up your side of the street, learning and growing and putting into practice being a better person reaps soooooo many benefits. But at times you have to be able to say “wow, I was kind of an a$$. How can I do better??”
What do you want from here, Tom? Do you want people to just agree with you, or do you want to learn and grow?
