My youngest (D5) had a little meltdown before bedtime tonight.
As a brief recap, we all moved here (about half-day drive) about 3 years ago, away from where my STBXW's parents live and many of her friends. It was a hard but mutual decision. My W wanted a huge house in the best location, and I just could not find work to support that lifestyle. I felt immense pressure, and also did not have great job prospects in that town. My W also had put a 1-year ticking deadline on making the decision. I had even proposed we punt and wait another year given the intense pressure of an arbitrary deadline. But she wouldn't have it. So I found a great job in the place we originally met many years ago, one that would support the lifestyle my W wanted, and we agreed to move.
Somehow my W has a narrative that this move was entirely about my happiness. In fact, I would have stayed in our old town if she would have accepted living in a more reasonably affordable area.
My W was obviously unhappy with the move, would not admit it, and blamed me. At the time, I was trying so hard to make my W happy, and obviously failing. (As in, placing way too much pressure on her putting a brave face on things). Recipe for MR disaster.
Anyways, back to D5...
She was upset about moving away from the place "that was best for her" (when she was 2). She said Mommy told her we all moved because Daddy wasn't happy.
It really upsets me that she is writing narratives for the kids. I don't involve them in our issues. I just said tonight that there are grown-up issues sometimes, but the important thing is that I love her very very much.
I wish I could "solve" this problem, but I can't. One of my friends went to family reunification therapy after a nasty custody battle and suggests it, but in his case that was court ordered. I think my only option is to have faith that my kids will grow up and see things clearly.
I wish I could say I accept this, too, is out of my control. But it cuts deep. I want to just move on and be dad to my kids, and my X seems determined to involve them in her version of events. This is a lifelong battle. I know others here who have followed me have gone through similar, feels like I am doomed to a never-ending drama.
