Have you tried checking your testosterone levels? I checked mine and they were quite low which explains why it was so hard to lose weight. Low levels also makes you feel unmotivated to work out.
Interesting thought. Doesn't low testosterone affect your sex drive and "ability"? I may have turned 50, but I'm happy to say that I'm still good there.
I fired up My Fitness Pal after my last post, and I've had a couple of days of dieting and exercise. Hopefully, I can make it part of my routine again.
I was in a reflective mood and thought about what I've learned. I'm a big proponent of DB techniques (detaching, GAL, 180s). I've pushed back on some of the hard rules. For example, I wasn't in a rush to find a GF. However, I felt ready 9 months after my divorce, and I started dating. I broke the "wait for one year" rule. Some of this stuff depends on the individual.
For me detaching is the most important thing to work on initially. GAL helps with detaching. Fixing yourself is important eventually, but too often the LBS works on 180s to impress their spouse. The people who struggle the most are the ones who do not properly detach emotionally.
I know some good people here insist that the WAS will likely regret their decision. That comforted me early in my situation. I've come to realize that it may not be true, and it doesn't do me any good to think about it. Surveys show 50% of people regret their divorce. That means 50% of people do not regret their divorce.
Validation can be difficult--especially for men. If you are just memorizing validation lines to say, it comes off as fake. Validation is an art--one that I have not mastered yet but continue to work on. Validation starts with listening.
I'm two years post-divorce, and I still have moments where I'm melancholy about it all. I'm not sure when or if it ever goes away, but I know that's okay. When that happens, I try not to stay stuck on it. I like to work on little projects to occupy my mind when it comes up.
