WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont3.)

[Ready2Change]

...She started to get a bit hysterical out of the blue. She started crying about how she couldn't get all the homework done, how she didn't know where to start, and how it was just too much. I really tried not to solve her problem - I just tried to empathize and listen. Then she started crying harder and said she missed her mom. I said "I know, would you like to call her?" Then she said "but when I'm with her I miss you, I don't understand."

And then she just cried and I held her. She said she knew I wanted to work out and so she didn't want to bother me with her homework. I told her she is never bothering me and I stayed up in her room and helped her with her homework for about an hour. It was heartbreaking, but wonderful - just connecting with her and showing her I could be there for her, but so sad. She is hiding all of her feelings.

This is what is important. A+ brother! You be the safe place for your kids to express there emotions. Let them know this.

There are healthy ways that you can help Son express his anger. I am sure you have some anger that could be released. The book store, amazon and google were very helpful during my growth during the early phases after BD.


Balancing everything will be a challenge, but you can handle it. Compartmentalize. Be Super Dad when the kids are with you. Take care of everything else while they are with Mom.

I worked longer days the week I didn't have the kids. Shorter days when I had the kids.

I would send texts like this in the evening when they were at moms:
"Love you. Miss you. Sleep well. Looking forward to seeing you. Sleep well. good night"