tom, so a serious question for you. What is it you are looking to get out of your threads? You came here with an already advanced situation. You have little to no contact with your STBXW. You admit to finding DB very late. So obviously the usual newcomer advice may not be appropriate for you. Obviously you should be DBing (GAL, 180s, and detachment), but at this point you already seem to have GAL and detachment down. So when good posters (like LH) start to help you focus on 180s/self-improvements, you get bowed up, defensive, and shut it down.

We all can be better people. I am on record here as struggling with empathy for most of my adult life. Learning to be empathetic has helped me not only in my MR, but also in my day-to-day life. But if I just said "I am not empathetic, that is just who I am!" and refused to be open to learning about empathy, where would that get me?

I do not think you hate women. I think the word "misogynic" gets thrown around way too easily. I think that when you believe in traditional gender roles, the people that do not like that love to slap the misogynic label on you to cancel you and dismiss you. That being said, we can all learn from the way people PERCEIVE us. I am as traditional as they come, yet no one here (yet) has accused me of being misogynic. So when others started to suggest that, or come right out and say it about some of your posts, rather than get defensive and suggest they stop giving you advice is, sorry if this is blunt, close-minded. I may not agree with what someone says or thinks, but I am at least open to hearing their perspective.

Look, I am very open with posters here, if you don't like my advice or what I have to say, just ask me to leave your thread and I will. Though I've offered that to many posters, I cannot think of one that has taken me up on it, even the ones that not liked what I've had to say. I would highly encourage you to rethink backing LH's desire to leave your thread. His insights can be helpful even if they sting a bit. And you can learn from them even if you don't agree with his assessment.

Anyway just a though. But I would like to know what you are looking to get out of your thread, from your perspective.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018