One more think I’d like to add. Your W tried to get you into counseling, waited until your children were out of school and doesn’t appear to have another male.
That is a LBS dream for most of us.
Well, I didn't find DB until August this year, a full 11 months after BD, so I can't claim to have known anything about the principles of BD back then.
As I said a few posts ago in the previous thread, I did try the wrong things in the first 90 days but she was totally unresponsive, and actually played some dirty tricks with her attorney. Also, after those 90 days I did most of what DB recommends; dropped contact and focused on my own life.
But there has not been an iota of curiosity from her about me, unless it's through my kids and they're not telling me. So now that we are 14 months from BD day, still not talking, I can only assume -- as I did 10 months ago -- that she is done. Finished. Over.
Tom I think you misunderstood me. I agree she is done. The point I am trying to make was your w did directly try to reach you. Most of us were not able to read the signs. For an example my ex never mentioned counseling ever. You didn’t have to miss out on half of your children’s childhood. Some people here children were toddlers when they split. You did not have deal with an OM. One guy on here has a W on OM number 5.
Tom I am not an expert psychologist and I often claim here that I’m not. I have read 100s of stories on here I can usually get a feel for the LBS. I know you can’t see it but I was trying to get you to look at yourself and the part you may have played in the downfall of your marriage. I understand that you are not interested in my advice so I will defer from posting on your thread.
Take care Tom.
This had been my thought for awhile so I'm glad you made the call yourself. Best wishes.
