You've been through so much in your life and you're a pro at being self-aware and figuring stuff out. You have always been honest to yourself of your shortcomings and strong suits. The fact that you've kept marching on is the best testament to your patience and fortitude.
Originally Posted by wayfarer
Everyday is starting to feel like an anniversary of the h3llscape that was my life in Nov-March of last year. I am moving forward. I'm working every day on forgiveness. I'm working every day on me. I'm working every day on us. But somedays it's very hard to see how ok we are and not be angry at how much time he wasted. Or sad and hurt on what I had to endure for him to figure this all out. Given this was the road I chose. The outcome I wanted. I know that. I should probably be sharing some of this with H. But I don't know how much is too much or what's not enough.
No time was wasted. You guys couldn't have gotten to where you guys are without all the sh1t that happened in between. Your H wouldn't be the evolved H he is right now had you guys not gone through the "mediocre" relationship that led to the A. You were betrayed, and the feelings of betrayal is not something you can overcome and wiped clean. It takes so much time and work and commitment from both of you to ride out the waves when the feelings from the past come crashing out of nowhere. You chose the path but you don't have to endure the pain alone. I think it is necessary to share that with your H. Nobody knows for sure what's too much and what's not enough, but I think the point is to trust the process, believe in the fact that things will be better when you guys work together by diving deep into each other's vulnerabilities.
