Nine months have gone by. No marriage saving or divorce progress to report. However, she's still tremendously interested in keep tabs on my social life and even searched my emails for information on who I might be seeing. But enough about her. I don't have any marriage saving advice to impart and we've all read the same posts. So, what's the point in adding anything more about her?
GAL and detachment, on the other hand, are going splendidly. I dare say that I'm even having a bit of fun these days. I made a solid effort at preparing a lovely Thanksgiving meal, but fell far short in the execution. Cooking is more difficult that it seems. Kids didn't seem to mind and we had fun anyway. Then, I had three days all to myself. I was anticipating suffering through a bout of melancholy and spinning. But it never materialized and all in all it was an enjoyable break. In the pre-BD days, I certainly had better Thanksgivings, but I also had worse. I'm doing alright just like the vets said that I would be.
My marriage might end in 2021. It might not. But I don't invest my time in trying to control the outcome anymore, nor do I wonder what she and OM are doing (even on Thanksgiving weekend when the kids are with them). I live my life and I am content without her. I have never once checked her social media or even driven by her new home. Whenever anyone else brings her up, I change the topic or end the conversation.
For those wondering how to speed their detachment along, you simply need to GAL. You GAL when you want to. You GAL when you don't want to. You GAL when you have time. You GAL when you don't have time. You imagine the man or woman you want to be, you figure out how to make progress toward who you want to be, and then you keep taking steps forward no matter what. Along the way, you'll heal from the wounds and you'll move on.
Detachment is easier if you are the one who stays in the MBR and in the marital home. There's really no sense in your being the one to move if your name is on the title.
But, if you must know, your spouse will notice and react to your detachment. And they will try to get you to re-attach.
