Hi there! I also have a VERY LDH and as far as frequency goes...right now there is none. I'm wondering though...have both you and your H gone to counseling together? Is he open to that? Or have I just missed that somewhere in the posts?
The reason I ask is that my H has agreed to counseling...of course I told him it was that or we wouldn't have another anniversary. During our last session our counselor hit the nail on the head as far as his behavior...we discovered that he was behaving towards me exactly as his ex had behaved towards him...he didn't even know it...and as soon as he realized how he'd been treating/hurting me...it really hurt him.
Anyway...off of my soapbox. It's going to take awhile for he and I to get back to the "sexual intimacy" right now we're working on regaining our emotional intimacy. But in general he's a tough cookie to get going too in the bedroom (or wherever). He tends to be fairly visual as well, but if I try to be blatant about it (i.e. masturbating in front of him) he takes that as pressure and shuts down.
Here's a thought (take it for what it's worth :-) on how to get his motor going even when the kids are around. Try taking some provocative pictures of yourself (digital cameras are great for that)...then leave them in different spots where you know only he will find them...maybe with a little note or something like that....then just drop it. Don't say anything about them to him. If he's visual, he will have the visual stimulation anytime he likes...and he will know you were thinking of him in a special way when you did that for him, that just might get his motor going.
Let me know what you think :-) & keep your head up!
