WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - Don't Want Divorce (2)

[BL42]

Steve85,

BL, time heals all wounds. Admittedly, every wounds heals at a different rate, but eventually even the worst wounds heals. Obviously, proper care can speed the healing (IC, DBing, etc). But the Vapo that posts here today is in a completely different place than the one 6 years ago. I am 3 years past BD, in piecing and Ring, and you cannot even compare me to where I was 3 years ago.

10 months is a long time. It also is a drop in the bucket for most of these things. You obviously still have a lot of work to do, and you admit this.

It's interesting to read through threads and get a sense for posters' progress. I can personally feel the improvement over the past 6 months, so I'm sure you and Vapo are right that in 3yrs or 6yrs it'll be even better.

Worrying about whether STBXW and OM work out or not is not healthy. Just keep working on that detachment and moving on. Plenty of LBSs skip the work and then are set back when their XW marry the OM, or start dating someone they don't approve of, etc. Proper detachment says "Her crazy is no longer my crazy." And wouldn't give two craps what the XW is doing.

I'm reminded of an old movie quote I read on the board (but can't find where) that said "the only win to win is not play the game". I sent an email to W this week about some Holiday logistics and reminded her St. Nicholas Day is this weekend while she has the kids and that S5 is very aware and excited and asked if she was doing anything (for S5's sake). Her response shocked me. It was so angry. She said "did you really think you needed need to remind me..." and "I don't understand why you would think..." it's "absolutely insulting". I was simply trying to communicate some conversations I had with S5 to make her aware and be a good co-parent in good faith, but she was insulted. I don't really understand or how to respond to that. I guess I need to get better "not play the game".

So keep doing the work. Keep posting here. Keep moving forward. All this will be in the rearview mirror one day.

Will do, thanks Steve! I believe that, and am working towards it!