Sex Tips for HDWs with semi-willing LDHs

[eyesopened]

I would be especially interested in seductive moves that could be accomplished without having to worry about my adolescent children being around.

I'm confused because the two "tips" offered aren't things that could be done with kids around. I seem to recall you mentioning that you had Lou Paget's book, How to Be a Great Lover. While many readers of that book probably go directly to the sections on different techniques, there's a lot of good information in the other chapters (I'd start at the beginning and read through to the end) on seducing men and on things that turn them on (for example, eating an ice cream cone unselfconsciously, NOT exaggerating it to be a sexual move).

My personal observation (based on what my husband and other men have told me) is that many men are actually turned off by overt sexual moves outside the bedroom especially if they're doing something else at the time and aren't feeling sexually starved. It almost feels like nagging in some cases (remember Mr. and Mrs. Roper on the old TV show, Three's Company). Some men also prefer to feel like they're doing the pursuing most of the time. Also, the men I've known prefer not to feel as though they're merely instruments to scratch an itch or to take care of a physical need. They want to know that your desire is for them, not just a body part, and that they're the ones, and the only ones, who can really turn you on and get you purring. I've also learned that many men can get turned on by porn with its anonymous women but that isn't necessarily an indication of what they want their wives and girlfriends to do.

I also agree with Tim and Aquarian about "tip #2". What's in it for him (it also seems as though this could be quite uncomfortable for his legs)?

My experience with my husband, who's not LD, and former lovers, is that different things turn on different men. My husband, for example, is more attuned to touch and smell so I wear the perfume he likes best on me and keep my skin very soft along with wearing silk. I also know his secondary erogenous zones, such as his feet and the back of his neck, which I can rub and caress even in front of the kids.

In her books and tapes, Michele talks about thinking back to what worked and to keep doing that, and also to stop doing things that don't work. That's terrific advice. I believe that often we get into a mindset where we think that another person SHOULD react a certain way based on how we feel, or what we've read, or how somebody else responded.