[quote=tom_h] I'm sorry you are in this situation.
The two statements I put in bold seem to contradict each other. Not communicating well is a significant issue. Have you considered that your wife might not be talking because she has given up trying to communicate with you?
Do you have any specifics of what your wife felt was not working in the communication between the two of you? You mentioned wanting to improve yourself for your next relationship. Given what you've shared here, I would start with exploring what was wrong with the communication in your marriage--thinking from your wife's perspective as much as you can--and learning better communication habits.
Also, have you read up on the Five Love Languages? What is your love language? What is your wife's?
Rose, can we pick up on this question that you asked me two months ago? I think I'm now ready to answer it and I would value your perspective.
I took the love languages quiz and found out that my top love language is physical touch. Close behind were Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. The three of them were almost tied. It's interesting, I took them while discussing it with a friend who knows me well. I don't think that Words of Affirmation would have been near the top until the last few years, when I had some personal setbacks; but I had turned 50 and all of a sudden, being Mr Strong Guy wasn't as important and I needed affirmation as to who I really was.
You asked what my STBXW's love languages would have been; I know for certain it would have been Acts of Service.
There is no doubt that neither of us attended to the other's love language, especially during the last 5-10 years before she walked out.
