[AndrewP]

I tend to agree with kml - but then both of us are fairly passionate about a number of issues that others may view differently. Specifically around what we think of as "human rights"

With that said, if as an individual you don't feel as strongly about such things, like in my case smoking - which I regard as a dirty habit but one that I regard closer to the "personal choice" line - then that's your own thing. Other people may believe strongly in their particular version of religion and that needs to be their own boundary.

I think that the key take-away is that if a potential partner either has a strong view on an issue that is opposed to your own or visa versa then it is important to try to get those things out of the way early. Which is tough - because some people with controversial views tend to keep them quiet especially when they are trying to impress the other person. It took a long time for me to find out that my now former fiancé is anti-vaccination - at least as far as the influenza vaccine goes. I chose to go along with that because she didn't dismiss my own beliefs but it certainly was something that would have been a black mark if I'd known it earlier.

The key thing I think is respect. Do you respect the other person's opinions even if you disagree with them. And I'm not talking tolerant amusement but recognizing that this particular thing is important and also treating it with respect and as important even if it isn't your own "thing".

One very important thing to recognize when out in the dating pool (and I know that this is going to cause a bunch of forehead smacking) is that we have the agency to choose or reject any potential partner who comes along based on whatever is important to us. And as I've learned through painful experience, initial impressions combined with rose-coloured glasses and optimism isn't enough.