WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont3.)

[OnlyBent]

And, I don't know that it makes sense to re-attract her. Of course, right now that's what I want and I would take her back. She was my best friend, and we were actually friendly to the end. We never fought much and we always shared our lives with one another. That's led to me feeling very lonely because I don't have my friend anymore.

BUT as I evaluate our relationship, her resentment, the destruction of trust, and the work we would have to do to rebuild, makes me think that its probably not possible for it to work. The reality is that she would have to do her work and she's never really been willing to do that.

And then there were the unhealthy habits we had - she would really light me up if I did something for myself or with friends. She would tell me how selfish I was. It got to the point I didn't even want to invite my parents over because she made it uncomfortable.

Hey Scotty, I can relate to all of this. I miss her and feel lonely, but of course the rejection makes it all feel worse. The evaluation you speak is really helpful, I try and visualise what it would be like if she came back today, but with no changes. And honestly, it doesn't look very appealing.

I agree, she would would have to do her work too, and like your W, my W has never seen the need nor had the inclination to do it. How I am looking at it now is, if she came back and wanted to do the work (and it isn't too late) then great, but if she doesn't want to do the work, then also fine, because she isn't the type of person that I want to be with. So either way, the choice becomes that bit easier to deal with in that sense.