BL, just read through your sitch, and the similarities with my situation are astounding. The ages correspond, the kids ages correspond, the only difference is that I have an older daughter and a younger son.
I did not recap my sitch in my own thread, but tried to offer my advice and insight on other people's threads. These boards have helped me so much in understanding WTH was going on and really saved my sanitiy when the situation was bleak.
It is 6 years post BD for me, kids are doing well and me and my Ex coparent well. I did not manage to rescue my marriage, but I rescued myself. Both me and my ex are in relationships and Ex's boyfriend is a decent guy. Obviously he is not the guy for whom my Ex left me, so really I can't blame the guy for anything.
The relationship with the Ex is all about the children and that suits me just fine. From the rebelious self (female dog) from the first months/years post BD she's calmed down and resembles my W again. That being said, I would not want any romantic dealings with the Ex ever again. Post BD I did some work on myself and I discovered I was worth more and was underappreciatedin my marriage. I suffered from Nice guy syndrome and badly. I had some other issues and it is a fact that I also contributed to the demise of my marriage.
But water under the bridge. New life, new challenges ahead.
Take care buddy, you are not alone, and you have some of the finest, nicest, most knowledgeble posters in your corner. Esp. Sandi is very valuable, because of her insight into a female mind, priceless.
