R2C: Thanks for the message. I would not send one of the kids teachers a message for Thanksgiving, but I did send her one. All it said was Happy Thanksgiving.
And, I don't know that it makes sense to re-attract her. Of course, right now that's what I want and I would take her back. She was my best friend, and we were actually friendly to the end. We never fought much and we always shared our lives with one another. That's led to me feeling very lonely because I don't have my friend anymore.
BUT as I evaluate our relationship, her resentment, the destruction of trust, and the work we would have to do to rebuild, makes me think that its probably not possible for it to work. The reality is that she would have to do her work and she's never really been willing to do that.
And then there were the unhealthy habits we had - she would really light me up if I did something for myself or with friends. She would tell me how selfish I was. It got to the point I didn't even want to invite my parents over because she made it uncomfortable. -------- As much as I'm trying to GAL, I'm just struggling to detach and move on. I'm not sure what more I can do. I have decided to start my IC back up, which I hope will help me process everything. I'm very sad, but not depressed.
My kids are doing great and seem to have really accepted this - which oddly makes it harder because I feel like I'm all alone in my sadness - its weird.
I had the kids last night and that was great. We tried to decorate the house for Christmas and made a mess because I've never done it before. We have stuff all over the place and we'll work more on it tonight. Thursday and Friday they will be with their mom and then I get them for 5 days straight, which will be awesome - of course then I won't have them for the 5 days after that which will be hard. I'm already trying to think of plans for those days.
My parents come back to town in mid-December, so I'll have family I can hang with when I'm down, which is great, but they don't really understand and its not the same as having MY family.
I know that dealing with this pain is a process and it will take time. I hope IC can help me get through it faster.
I guess from a DB standpoint, continuing with No Contact and GAL are the most important steps.
