The number one problem that gets people here stuck is they want their spouse to be something that they are not. You want your W to be a loving faithful person. She is the exact opposite which is is unfaithful manipulative person. That’s why you are in so much pain and suffer. I always use the quote “you can ignore reality, but you can’t ignore the consequences of ignoring reality”. If you can really understand that quote you will understand why you are suffering so much.
I’m not going to lie Steve you are a very broken person who who has been through some troubling times. If you want to ever get better you have to stop the cycle and do the hard work to get better. If you can’t do it for you then you need to do it for your children. Good luck today with your therapist.
