Yes, that particular point is an excruciating pain of mine. I know I should be grateful that we managed to have one child, and I am. Becoming a mother is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
There was a time when having multiple children was one of the few things my husband and I mutually really, really wanted. We would talk about it when we were dating.
Shortly after our wedding, though, he threw me for a loop when he said, "I'm not going to give you a baby [with things being as unhappy as they are]." The way he worded it and his tone made me feel like more of a subordinate than a partner, as if a baby was something for him to withhold from or grant to me. Eventually he started to want a baby again.
Sometimes I get the feeling he is withholding sex (and the prospect of another baby) as a form of leverage or a way to punish me.
Yes, I completely understand it isn't logical to have another child at this time. And I understand that a child should be wanted by both parents before one comes about. I totally get it. But it's like the "Don't think of pink elephants" thing. Trying not to think of having another child makes me think of precisely that. The best I can do is try to think of other things and hope the grief fades with time.
