Hey my friend. I am going to call you soon, but, wanted to reach out tonight while I have a few minutes to write.
Holidays are hard, aren't they? Even in the best of times, they bring a whole host of emotions with them. For me, the loss of my parents is still hard. I also have all those memories of the horrible holidays of my childhood. They stay with you. Throw in the craziness of 2020 and it could really mess with your head.
I know you are struggling a great deal. I also know the holidays are particularly difficult for you and that you are feeling alone. I will not list all the positive things you have in your life. I know you know them.
That would somehow negate in some ways the feelings you are having. The truth of it is, you wish you had someone. Someone to share your life with. I know you feel it is a need, but, truthfully, it is what you want. And I get it. I truly do.
I think they we can get so mired down in our wants that we go into a kind of spiral. Nothing looks or feels right. Throw in some medical issues, covid, work, finances and teenage angst and it's no wonder you are depressed.
Here's the thing. At least for now, and during these times, you cant meet anyone. That's the reality of it.
So, what do you do? One of the things is the realization that you wont always feel this way...the way you do at this moment. Because life changes, things change, people change, situations change. Thats just life. The knowledge of that can help to move you forward. Your life wont always look like this.
I know several people who were 100% sure they would never, ever meet anyone for the rest of their lives..they werent with anyone for years. 2 were in their late 50s, one in her early 60s. And then they did.
I know a few people whose health were in a downward spiral, and were sure they would never be healthy...who are now.
I know one person who was in a dead end job for years and years, who was sure he would never own a home or find a job in his field...who now has both.
And little G will not always be a teenager who pushes your buttons.
Nothing ever stays the same...life is always in motion.
The trick to survive is to accept what is for now with the knowledge that it wont always be this way. With the understanding that you are strong and wonderful and you will survive it all.
And that one day, your life will be as it is meant to be.
So you can feel sorry for yourself for a little while. You can take some time to be angry and sad.
But then, it is time to regroup. Time to dig in. Time to remember what you have been through and survived and what you are made of.
Get to gettin....or I will take a trip to see you and help you.....just sayin
