I am sorry you’re here. I have been living with my MLC H for 18 months. He’s had at least two OW that I am aware of. I have just learned to live with him here. In these past 18 months, he has had a regression to being a teen; messy bed (he sleeps in our D25s room and she’s is actually sleeping on the couch.), spray tan, diets then overeating, washes clothes once a month or one load for one pair of pants. He leaves in the evening to eat away from the house. The OWs were in another country, so he really is stuck here.
I have struggled to understand. I have been seeing a therapist once a week. That has helped immensely as she is very aware of MLC and how to deal with him. I have learned to protect myself, (he still has me pay all of the bills and watch the money), I have also learned to not ask him anything R related, and I just give him a wide berth.
You can read my sitch, he will bring home baked goods, and surprisingly he ate with D and I on Thursday. He does not know that I know about the OWs. I just know it will come out later but now is not the time, I see periodic glimpses of him, but nothing to what he used to be like. If you plan to stand, you will have to develop a strong outer armor. It helps.
