Hi CanBird,

I just read your whole sitch and wanted to send positive vibes your way... this all is hard and you're doing so well.

I had a couple of questions/thoughts for you to take or leave. I also have to say if there is any way you could buy him out of the house, you should pursue it. I think you can count the rental income as income towards qualifying on the loan, since you've lived there for more than a year. And interest rates are so low right now, it might be at least worth looking into.

When my neighbor and his W divorced, he couldn't afford to buy her out right away so she stayed on the deed. But the equity in the home was capped at the appraised amount when they Dd so that he had a set amount to work towards and she wasn't gaining additional equity in the house. Did you guys do something like this?

And finally... you might consider, even if it is really tough for awhile, if you buy out your ex, to move you and D4 into your rental and rent out the bigger home. My friend did this in her D-- moved into the rental unit and rented out the main house-- which was emotionally difficult at first, but the rent on the main house nearly covers the mortgage of the full property. I'm not sure which island you're on, but once tourism comes back maybe you could look into AirBnB instead of a long-term rental, if it's legal and you're willing, for either house, you might be able to make significantly more $$ that way.

HUGS.


Me (46) H (42)
M:14 T:18, D9 & D11
4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs
9/20 - present: R and piecing