What's New Today pt2

[CanBird]

Hi Gerda, thank you for your reply. I will do my best to respond to your questions

What judge signed off on this? It sounds very messy and not at all satisfactory as a final divorce decree. The whole point of the divorce is to settle all these questions.

State of Hawaii. Filed as uncontested, without a jury. I had a lawyer, had him served, I had it revoked. Emotions got the best of me. Stupid? Perhaps. We filed together, using his lawyer. I'm glad I did see a lawyer, so I was familiar with the paperwork. Stupid? Perhaps.

I also second what DnJ said about following the agreement but with an addendum -- GET YOUR FINANCES SEPARATED FROM THIS MAN ASAP. Why would you want to talk to him about money or share anything with him? Fly, Canbird, Fly!!!!!

xo I have been soring above all of this with such grace. I do have my own bank account. The only thing we have that ties us is the house, and the rental income. I don't know if I can manage the house on my own. I've only been at my new job a month. If the house gets sold, so be it. The mortgage & loan get paid, whatever the realtor gets etc etc... we split the rest, but I get a certain $ amount more than him, because I contributed more going into the purchase. Dang write I had that added!

Without knowing any of the details -- it sounds like you most definitely would qualify for alimony on top of child support.

I would suggesting taking the papers to three lawyers, as if you are vetting them to see if you would hire them. It's a consultation to get their take and how they would approach this.

Alternatively, do a web search for women's justice centers near you. You need expert advice.

I am quite sharp on business matters and somewhat sharp on division of property so if you want to give more details, I could try to give you better advice.

Division of property is pretty much 50/50. We both came into the marriage with nothing, but I got $$ to get the house and furnish it. That's in the agreement, that I get those funds back with the sales of the house. He worked, supported us for years... I contributed by taking care of the house, the rental and our daughter for the past 4 years, while he was away for half the year. Year after year... NEVER doing that kind of relationship again.

My advice without knowing anything, is that you immediately form an LLC that will be your rent collection entity. Do it as a single member LLC with you as the only member. All rents go into that account and all building maintenance expenses are paid from it. Build a history for that LLC. Do it fast, now, Dec 1 start date, so you can move all your books from 2020 into your books for this LLC.

I'm not business savy, so bare with me The rental has always been under XH state business license. We are required to have this license in order to have a "legal rental". In the past we've claimed it on our joint taxes. I have a business license as well. Got it years ago for work purposes, (independent contractor of sorts) but never used it. It's the same license XH has.

Our x's sound similar in the sense that mine also doesn't understand how to pay the taxes on the rental, I've always been the one to handle the money, pay the bills. He also pays no attention to the rental account we have jointly. He's got another account, at a different bank, that technically is joint, but I separated myself from it in March, after we signed our papers. I have checks for this account, and he's had me write payments out for the mortgage. Again, this comes out of HIS account. Hope that's not to confusing.... it's business.

I am still embroiled in divorce and joint ownership. So what I do with my LLC is that the LLC pays 75% of all rents to me and H. It goes into my joint account with H (he never accesses this and has no ability to understand anything about money except his delusion that I am stealing it). 25% stays in the company account to pay repairs and other expenses plus sales tax, etc. The 75% going into joint account all goes to mortgage. Right now it's not covering even a big fraction of mortgage but I am in forbearance too. But I am paying the interest at minimum so my debt numbers don't go up on my credit score; I want to be able to buy him out as soon as I can refinance.

Then you will have a history for your LLC and you can apply to buy him out by having your LLC buy the property. The total the LLC will have to pay is just whatever you owe him. A good deal!

Your rental income -- it's half yours and half his, but it's not the entire rents, some of that as I said above is going through your company along with expenses. When you do your taxes, you claim half the income that does hit your account and he must claim the other half. Likewise you each can claim half the mortgage interest. And as soon as possible, you buy him out and this is all yours to claim, via your business. Remember, you are building equity in a joint property. You have to get credit for that elsewhere if he is not contributing an equal amount to equity.

I'm not very business savy... I kind of understand what you're saying. I'll have to read over it again.

Child support is based on his income and should be done through the state. No discussion, no negotiation. The percentage the state requires is tied to his income and you don't have to check it, they will do that. You can also petition the family court for child support. This is the one thing the state is good at. Though I am remembering now that maybe you don't live in the US so maybe this isn't the case where you are, I always confuse your story with a few of the other "sophomores" here! : )

Yes, CS was figured out based on his income through the state. After I received my lovely divorce papers in the mail, I called CSEA (Child Support Enforcement Agency). XH lawyer should have filed CS form on his behalf, as stated in the agreement. XH lovely copy of divorce papers were mailed here, and a week later something else from his lawyer. (Probably a receipt). I asked where xh wanted his mail sent, and sent it. He is still at work, or just finishing up being at sea... remote... so might not have seen any paperwork yet. I made him aware of this CS form, days after I got the divorce papers, asked if he knew about it, and he was CLUELESS about it. DUH.... his lawyer prepared the agreement that mentions this form.. xh is CLUELESS to all of this..

You can be creative with solutions to get something equitable and cut all ties and give him some relief. He is pissed about your expenses but he's not totally wrong. It should be quantifiable, how you are getting paid spousal support by what numbers, even if it's via equity in the property as a lump sum. Everything should be quantifiable, you take this thing worth this much, he takes this thing worth the same. The only thing is that you get to have a place to live, even if you end up by offering a slow transfer -- e.g., you buy him out fully by 2025, and you have a staggered schedule of how that gets paid out. I can be more specific if you can.

Guess I can ask him to give me more details regarding what he meant by saying "You should buy the house. .."
My interpretation is, he suggesting I buy him out... I could ask, what he has in mind. Or just sell, was the other suggestion. Either way, something's got to happen. I know this.

Most important thing to take care of is D4. I can start transferring his portion of the rental income, if he's open to that. I don't see why he wouldn't be.

What else can I do? Besides seek the advice of a lawyer. Oh what fun divorce is,,, said no one.

I'm fine. Thankful that I can always find something to laugh about, most of the time.