What's New Today pt2

[CanBird]

Hi DnJ, thank you for your reply. I'll do my best to answer clarify things.

Yes, get the child support setup and automatic ASAP.
Your divorce is final and now a month old. As to XH’s suggestions - follow the agreement. Anything verbal is as good as the paper it is written on. Do not make side deals

Totally agree with this. The agreement we signed is what should be follow.

I am confused with the allocation of assets. Do you both still own the house? Is there a provision for you to buy him out? Or him you? Or is it supposed to be sold?

We both still own the house. And the rental is on that property. D4 and I live in the house. The title is in both our names," intend to sell" is what's written in the agreement. There are no provisions regarding buying the other person out.

The rental income was joint. However post divorce I would suspect your income streams would no longer be intertwined. With that in mind the agreed to 25% of the rental income used for upkeep and such, is confusing. Who owns the rental? Who’s income is it?

It is written in the agreement, that we jointly manage the rental income. It goes into a joint account, and 25% of the income goes towards another account to pay off a loan. We both own the rental, as it is on the same property as our main house, that we jointly own. Both our names are on the title. The income has been claimed on our jointly filed income tax. I have always been the landlord, as I am here full-time.

I see you realize the need for things to be in writing. And I realize you do not have a lawyer. Is this divorce agreement signed by a judge and final? It sounds a bit vague to me. That being said. Do what the agreement states. Nothing more. You do not need or want to set a precedent.

Divorce agreement was signed by a judge & final. I agree to stick to the agreement.

If the other 75% is joint income, then let him claim his share and his share of the expenses. Do not use the rental income as child support directly. Have a paper trail showing his portion of the rental being paid to him and his payment of child support being paid from him. You don’t need anything that can come back on you later.

I like your way of thinking D.... and I've been thinking a lot about the rental income, since our divorce became final. It's part doing business right? 25% goes towards the loan, and the rest goes towards paying the rental bills. Whatever is left over we split.

I love a good paper trail. I agree, with his portion of the rental income, I should start making auto-transfers to his personal account and leave a paper trail, I like that. I've been careful with transactions from this account and have detailed notes/ description attached. (ie landscaping, washing machine repair...etc)

Did the contents of the house get split up? The cars? It is interesting XH pushing for you to buy the house. Is that something you are interested in? Do you want to keep the rental? Or could you keep the house and he gets the rental?

He left with 99% of his clothes & camera gear. The garage is FULL of a lot of his "toys". His vehicle is here, which I have permission to drive, per the agreement if I need to. I have ownership of my vehicle. The rest of the contents in the house we split if anything is sold. Neither of us are attached to anything. It's just stuff.

It appears that custody is to you. Do you have full custody? Or primary custody? Or something else?

-Joint legal custody. I have sole physical custody. D4 and I live on an island, so we'll see how and if visitation actually happens. (and then there's covid....)

It looks like items are still being negotiated. Although I may have read things incorrectly and these are already sorted out.

The divorce became final a month ago and he's been away at sea since April. He's almost done work... so I'm trying to get things like child support sorted. He needs to follow the agreement.

And I also look at things through his point of view too. He supported me 100% as a homemaker & stay-at-home mom for years, and that arrangement has changed.

You also supported him 100% by remaining at home which allowed him to be gainfully employed and advance his career. Do not sell your half of the contributions to your marriage for less than they are. You are entitled to support and your child is entitled to support.

All those years you remained at home, you could have been working and accruing a retirement nest egg and would now otherwise have a career with an income. However, you stayed at home and H financially support you, your child, and the household. XH is required to continue supporting (for some amount of time, which depends upon the local laws).

Thank you for reminding me to not sell myself short. My dad said the same thing.

Wait a good 48 hours before responding to XH. And talk things over with your Dad. And maybe a lawyer, just to have a professional opinion of the agreement.

I talked with my dad today. He agreed with sticking to what the agreement says regarding child support. It does not come from the rental income. We also talked about the rental income. XH has not come right out and asked for his half, but I think it's something I should consider moving forward, and to have that paper trail.

I do need to think things over before I reply. One thing is crystal clear to me, and to most of us. He needs to stick to the agreement regarding child support. It's to his benefit as well to stick to the plan, as it shows he is following what the court has ordered.

Feeling okay moving forward. Whatever will be will be. I may have to do all the heavy lifting, but that's how you gain muscle, right? With a little help from my friends.