I’m too full to even eat pie at this moment. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I thought of you all today. I hope you found some moments of joy and peace, and really felt whatever you needed to feel. What a strange year.
My L filed my response on the day of my deadline, which I realized happened to be exactly a year after H gave me a letter stating his intent to file for D—he still sounded somewhat normal in that letter. It was kind of a weak, I can’t believe we’re here, but I just need to do this in order to be happy letter. It’s pretty clear to me that if he had found that happiness in splitting, he wouldn’t be so angry. I hope he can really face his feelings and work through all the anger at some point. It’s hard to imagine living that way. My IC is pretty convinced H will blow up again soon. I don’t know if his L has shared my response yet, or what my L emailed. H hasn’t changed his polite demeanor at all. He does seem a bit like a ticking bomb.
May and DnJ, your notes mean a lot. D, I will be reading yours again and again through this process. It’s good to be reminded of this:
Originally Posted by DnJ
However, you need not ask for what you’re entitled too. You are entitled to it. You state it. Not ask for it.
I’ve struggled with a lot of feelings of guilt this week, even as I remind myself that all of this is H’s doing, and I am merely responding in the way I am required to. I let those feelings come and go—the blame, the guilt, the sadness. At least I can separate feeling guilty or feeling all the things H projects on me from believing those things. I might still feel them, but not believing them is progress.
