Why are you corresponding with him or responding to him about that?
I’m confident I can handle this on my own. X doesn’t have a lawyer. I do, but obviously it costs money when she corresponds on my behalf. The last time I used my lawyer as a shield, X became enraged and abused both her and me over email. I’m trying to manage this to prevent it escalating to that point again.
When I said I fear his reactions, I meant fear for my safety, and S2’s. I meant family annihilation reactions. Chris Watts-style. Scott Peterson-style.* You’re not wrong, Unchien, about the mental exhaustion in dealing with people like this (and I don’t mean to downplay at all what you’re going through) but there’s a different level of danger when the male is the antagonist. I live with this fear on a daily basis and especially when S2 is in his care— so yes, Gerda, that is a good reason to stop responding to emails during that time.
My goal is to keep it out of mediation and definitely out of court. Something like 98% of all custody agreements never see the inside of a courtroom in Australia, so I’m not too worried. I mean, we have agreement on 99.5% of the parenting plan! I don't rise to the bait and I don’t address any accusations. Grey rock has become second nature. I have hope.
Parenting question for the vets.
Tonight when I put S2 to bed, he said “I don’t like Dad”. I asked why. He said “Because I only like Mama”. I replied “It’s okay to feel however you feel. I love you no matter what. But you know it’s okay to like both of us at the same time”. He also asked me if I loved his dad. I said “No, honey. I used to love him, but he’s not my friend anymore.” This unleashed a barrage of “why”s but I steered the conversation elsewhere. Did I do okay?
He has been verbalising more positive thoughts about his dad recently eg. “Dad is my friend” to which I always respond positively. I think it’s a good thing he feels that way.
*This fear could be influenced by watching too many Dateline episodes. Not really. Maybe a little bit.
