This really is what's most important. Your brain tells you to STOP contacting her, but your emotions are in control. What you described feeling towards her sounds like 80% addiction and 20% love. Really consider blocking her calls and texts until you've gone to a few therapy sessions and feel in control again.
Originally Posted by Steve_
as far as the holidays go I am working all of them this year
Huh?! My kids are so important to me, I would never consider working every holiday. I would re-evaluate this one. What do you value in life, and is this choice supporting your values? It's okay if you have different values. This is more a question of alignment than a question of right or wrong.
Originally Posted by Steve_
Other than that can take some long walks do some push ups, sit ups etc. once this knot of anxiety leaves my chest I’ll be good to go.
Yes! I love the feeling of working out and being more fit--even if I can only squeeze 20-30 minutes in most days. Yesterday it was just squats, calf raises, bridges, and one-legged balances.